I fell off the wagon

 Yeah. It happens. 

I'm 73. Biologically, I'm 67. My wife of 54 years has dementia and I gotta tell ya, it's disheartening.

Sometimes,  just getting her out of her chair or out of her bed, is wracked full of fear, for her, and extremely frustrating for me. The pain she experiences from her knees and back causes her to writhe as she shuffles with each step. Yet if she doesnt move, she'll developed sores.

Yet, when she is seated, even with her lack of logic and reasoning, she's still the most loving, sweetest person i have ever met. I'm not exaggerating. 

She's 91 and her heart won't take the shock of fasting. I married a woman that's 18 years older than me. I was 19 and she was 37. I just wished that I'd known about autophagy 20 or 30 years ago, I could have stopped all this from happening.

There is no doubt in my mind that the medical and food industries are to blame for her misery. Yet, I understand. Its not really their fault

If a person comes in with high blood pressure and your the doctor is responsible, he or she had best recommend blood pressure pills, else they'll be sued. Welcome to, effects based, short termed results medicine.

I've yet had a doctor suggest fasting. Autophagy, well, most of those I've asked, they haven't heard of the term.

Fasting, though, is only half the story. Yeah, fasting will remove senescent zombie cells and, if extended 4 day fasts are done repeatedly, you'll be healthier and reduce your age. The science is all there, and its sound science. I am completely convinced that autophagy and lisosomes can do it.

Between fasts, you need to eat nutritious foods. You need to replace those toxic cells that have been removed. This is where I've been failing lately. Also eating late. I've found that now I tend to snack a lot. Fasting has caused me to want to eat more. And I've started skipping my supplements completely.

The nutrition side of the equation is so stuffed with charlatans that it's difficult to believe anyone. One says this food is good and another will say the same food is bad. Who to believe? Well, they all seems to agree on salads.

Look, I want truth, no matter what. The truth is, fasting has made me a voracious eater. Because of this, I've been focusing on keto type meals. But lately, I can't just stay away from the house, and thereby,  the kitchen, because I can't leave the love of my life alone anymore, I'm forced to be home and next to that kitchen.

 She can't move much and has a lot of pain and her dementia has progressed to the point where I need to help her in so many ways. Her bathroom, eating and personal habits have almost completely degraded. So no, I can't leave her alone.

 If you've taken care of someone who is losing all personal capabilites,  you know what it's all about. Its difficult. The Urantia book gave the heart and hope for me to carry on as it portrays a beautiful eternity with a loving eternal father, who is full of care for us, his children. Reading it gave me the hope that I needed to take me through the worst of times.

Thank God i have help. My daughter and granddaughter fill in when I need to get away. That's beome problematic as they both work.

So how do I face the intense shock of a 4 day fast?

I'm just a little man. I'm not a doctor, or physicist or grand politician. I'm not a wealthy celebrity. I am, though, a really good programmer.

 I'm building a really good set of programs to keep track of my fasting and condition progress. Programming forced me to think through my logic and reasoning. It helped me to experience the need for accuracy. This passed into my fasting and autophagy studies. I was, after all, the first person to automate the first digital, maintenance manual on the MD11 aircraft

These aren't simple manuals.  Every block of  information must be tracked for changes and errors. So, full history on each paragraph. In manuals that are 110,000 pages long and are unique to each airline and plane.

And with underflow and overflow that trigger reassurance automatically causes each typesetting of 50.00 per page to be sparse in its quarterly issuance changes.

This helped, and at first, as the main programmer, as a contractor, to develop discipline that helped me study and apply what autophagy does and how it affects the human cell.

The threat of blindness amplified that ability to focus in on the truth of what happens to a human cell when it's stressed, like bacterial and virus attacks. Not from the effects side but the causal side of the diseases. God knows, the effects side has huge amounts of money thrown at it. The causal side has only a few doctors and they're almost ostracized.

These doctors carry the hope of our future human health.

Sten Ekberg and the like, I'm really sorry about not mentioning all of them, are pushing the envelope of truth.

I will continue with my computer programs, now helped with AI and keep the flame that flickers in my life, going.

I will not give up, even if it gets really difficult.

Pierre

 ret.g.. . d.. s.e.. r.? k.s.. s.. t.m.e.. g.. .